Tuesday, September 14, 2010

advice, please.

Have you ever felt this way going into a new ward:

"Hi, what's your name?"
"Kiki Comin"
"Are you new?"
"Yeah, we just moved in"
"Oh, that's great."
"Where did you move from?"
"10 minutes north"
"Oh, great"
small talk, small talk, small talk...

and repeat 30 times for the next 4 sundays.

I think instead I should have walked into my new ward 4 weeks ago and when asked my name reply and hand out my friendship request form:

a normal, fun friend
kiki comin
doesn't matter. i'm 32, but I don't discriminate against age. I have good younger and older friends.
not too much..just someone who has a sweet, happy disposition, definitely sarcastic, not too needy, and listens to my crazy ideas patiently, . i love energetic moms or moms to be. i love creating, do you? (this is optional, but it could make it really fun!) i have 3 energy filled kids and my life can be chaos, but i love them to pieces, and you have to too! we don't need to hang out too much, but lets get together to talk during the day sometimes, so we can have some NORMAL conversation. I love to play ball...organized or not. I'd even take a pickup game one night a week at church... Do you like to run? maybe at 5 am, train for a triathlon, etc....  I can tell you about many amazing women I know..friends I miss so much that it hurts. Do I sound too needy. Maybe I am.  Okay scratch the above. I just need a happy, smiling face I can say hello to every now and again, but Really all I am looking for are some new friends to go along with my new house and surroundings, and adding you to my dear friends list would just be a bonus.

The difficulty with this situation now is that I was just put in as a nursery leader, so it takes away the socializing in sunday school and relief society away.    It seems like every time we move I go through this period of adjustment. YUCK! Any advice on making it go smoother?  Really, I'm listening.


Anonymous said...

move to seattle . be my friend..

R said...

Oh Kiki, I am sorry. I totally understand as when we moved here I was called as primary pianist and there I sat--behind the piano--for most of church.
But it did happen. I did make friends. And yes, it took a bit of effort on my part (i.e. inviting them over). But the biggest thing was I had to tell myself it would just take time. As in, 6 months minimum, to feel comfortable.
So, good luck, my friend!
They are lucky to have YOU!!!

Heather said...

First of all, congrats on the new house! Hope the move wasn't super horrible.

Secondly, I know about missing the dear friends. I know it can't happen in a new place overnight.

My advice would be to invite a family with friend potential over for dessert. Then you're not committed for a whole dinner, but you can totally audition each other. Esp. since you're tucked away in the nursery.

I'm wishing you all the best. I have no fear that you will make good friends. Wish it could be with me.

Kara said...

First of all, I think I fit your requirements (other than the running) so I'll move to your ward and be your "new" friend.
I was just talking about this to some girls in our new ward...sure, we all get together and I'd say we have friends here, but where are the REALLY REALLY REALLY good friends? Whose kids love you to pieces and who will craft with you whenever you want and won't judge you because you hate cooking and will go along with any of your crazy picture ideas even if they turn out pyschotic and blah blah blah.
So I really went out on a limb since NO ONE is a crafter here and started a craft night. I invited everyone I've met and they were all so excited to learn some new stuff, some of them even showed up for our first project.
Miss ya!

Annie said...

Do you have any advice when all your friends move away? Oh I hate those first awkward moments in a new ward.

Keri said...

I hate moving into a new ward! It's so hard at first, but just remember if you endure through the awkwardness, it will get better, and you"ll probably love your ward! We would love to see you guys! We are only a couple hours away! Let me know if you are ever up this way! We would love to have you over!!

Nate and Jessica said...

Can't even tell you how ironic...been thinking about this so much. It's just not the same and I miss my "friends" so much. (you know what and who I mean) I seriously kind of gave up hope this morning...just to kind of get by. People are either weird or already too established to have time for you...okay I am babbling...can you tell I hear ya!!! Hope you are feeling better.

emily and kevin griffin said...

tell the bishop the doctor said you can't have primary callings for a while because of the germs....worked for us:) jk.

i'd be your friend.

Lisa said...


Kristin said...

It's your first 4 weeks? I've been in my ward for 5 years and still feel like that! Those friends you described are very hard to come by, but I'm sure they are out there somewhere. Hang in there!

Monica said...

I hear you. Man, why cant we just all be neighbors again? I swear, I have yet to find the perfect friends that I had out there!! And nursery leader.. that always seems to happen to me too.. so I know the feeling! So, Aiden's teacher is Miss Molly. Do you know her? Hope all is well. Loved the post!

Smittys said...

Kiki- We were put in as nursery leaders too right away, and we did not like it but then I realized that those kids were Addy's age and I could be friends with their moms. So much easier to find someone with your kids age when you know the kid and see the parents every week.

Other than that I would hang out with you every day..buy I am not normal and it always seems like things are crazy! Addy does love Maizie. So we will play when ever you want.

kerstin said...

Move close to me! I want to be your friend! I need a running partner at 5 am, I need some one to be crafty with me, I need someone to be energetic with me, you know I am sarcastic! Oh, why do we live so far away from each other?!?

Lynn said...

They always disappear you like that
to see if you REALLY hae a testimony!